...but we DO still live here

I knew H would be working on the house most of the long Easter weekend so I took it upon myself to rent some movies (in hopes of sprawling on the couch with some wine and kleenex) that I knew he really wouldn't want to see...ya know, the chick flick thing. I need a good dose of it once in awhile...just a couple of good cries to get me back to my emotionally normal self. I once rented The Saddle Club videos...they are aimed at pre-teens and it is a series about these kids who ride at a stable called Pine Hollow. I ended up sobbing at one of the episodes b/c the girl's horse got hurt. I decided then and there that I must be either super-hormonal or I was way past my dose of sappy movies.

One of the movies I rented was We Don't Live Here Anymore. I had wanted to see it but it never came to the theaters around here. I found out it was on video when Blog-Hero Stacy reviewed it. Wow. Heavy duty stuff! I will say I didn't cry but the movie sure made me think. As someone who has been married nearly 18 years and sadly not all of them wonderful and tender, the movie was, in a way, a reality check. It really doesn't matter what the problem is that causes such a tear in a relationship...the end result is that you feel like you are supposed to love this person because they are your forever spouse but you might not, and since you should but you are not sure, it is really frightening. See what I mean? It gets all wacky! The sad thing is that when you try to *work on things*, it is just not possible to get back to where you once were with what you once had. After our TBM (Time of Bad Marriage), I finally realized you just have to work with what you've got and try to move forward with teensy baby steps and a lot of patience. This movie made me feel a lot more normal b/c a lot of people go thru this stuff...they just usually don't talk about it and certainly, they don't let you into their lives to see the nitty gritty crap and emotional gunk that goes on at home as they move thru their own TBM's. I, of course, thought we were the only ones who had late-night battles and uncomfortable morning conversations. Wow, I AM ok!!

Well, that is my deep thoughts post. You shouldn't have read it...it was really just for venting purposes. Then again, thinking about relationships is something all of us need to do from time to time, especially these long-term doosies!