Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I am sick of the sick

You won't get the title if you are not a follower of the walktrotcanter saga circa 2005...anyway, I stayed home from work today. A *sick day* if you will. I am actually fighting a touch of flu...sore throat, slight fever, earache...all things that point to "You had better stay home and better yet, DRINK, WOMAN". So I stayed home, lounged on the sofa, and ever the radical, had beer with lunch. I think they call this a Mental Health Day.

My staying home threw the poodles completely out of whack. Their usual "Mom's home for lunch pee" ended up as several lame whines at the door but when the door was opened they didn't know if they should go out to pee because it wasn't time. My poor dogs...they are such creatures of habit. They don't have a clue what they should be doing when I am home during the day. They are wonderful, tho. Anyway, the most important thing I did today was to make Halloween costumes for the *Big Party* which will take place on Saturday.

Last year at this time, while I was lounging around the Motel 6 trying to get a life, I read about this store here in town that was having a Halloween party. Prizes would be given to the best costume, there were refreshments to be served, the whole shebang. "Ah HA!" I thought..."I may be living in this complete shithole but I am clever with Superglue and felt, dammit!" ...and I was off to the craft store for supplies. Supplies, that is, to make costumes for my poodles. Oh yes, the pet store downtown was having a Halloween party for dogs...and may the best pooch win! Hey,when you live for a year in the Motel 6 and at the same time you own poodles (2 of them at that!), you have got to be completely out of your mind. Indeed, I was. And still am.

Last year, I ended up making a very clever *tandem* costume for Missy and Mr. P. Since Mr. P is kind of big and roly poly for his poodle body and is also black, I rigged up exhaust pipes (foil covered toilet paper rolls), handlebars (foil covered paper towel roll), a felt seat with hot red rivets (felt and rivits) and made him a Harley Davidson motorcycle. Missy, the dainty white poodle, was outfitted in a Harley denim vest, goggles, and she was the motorcycle chick. They were the very vision of Easy Rider. It was a complete success...not only did we get the free refreshments, we won the GRAND PRIZE (!!!!!!) which was a gift certificate to the pet shop. (This is a pet shop on-par with where Paris Hilton would shop for her dog only on a small-town scale. Nonetheless, an expensive place.) YEA!

Now, as the returning champions, Mr. P and Missy will arrive at the party as a bride and a groom...ok, I know it seems a bit incestuous but they are not related. Mr. P. has a tux with tails (black felt) and a white collar (white statin ribbon sewn to the felt). His bowtie is black and pink with sparkles. He has a dapper pink flower pinned to his coat and I am going to grease his hair down so he has a part in it like a guy all dressed to the nines. It is fabulous! Missy, also known as Bridezilla because of her reluctance to stand still to be fitted, will don a silk dress with pink and white toule that trails behind her (lots of zig-zag on the sewing maching!). Her veil is a crown (pipe cleaner) of fake flowers (wired to the pipe cleaner) with a matching pink ribbon. I even stitched up a little garter that will fit on her front is the paw she raises when she shakes hands so she can really show it off. The happy couple looks fantastic when they sit and stay. I say, break a leg, guys...we must repeat our win of the GRAND PRIZE!!!!

I guess Friday night will be Mr. P's bachelor party at the strip club and Missy's *personal* shower...

I really scare myself sometimes...LOL


Christine said...

You are scaring the crap out of me! But in a good way?? If possible? I really am seeing you in a whole new light though. Congratulations on your doggy costuming success - just promise that you won't try to dress up Journey next year!

P.S. Doggy pictures please?

Kiddo78 said...

I'm laughing at the garter and the thought of throwing them a bachelor party and shower! I need a hobby...instead of watching "I Love the '80s!"

katie said...

Holy crap this is hilarious! I wish I had half of your creativity. I'm sure my dogs are glad I do not though!

herb said...

OMG! Can we have pictures, please?

walktrotcanter said...

I will post pictures...stay tuned!

Stacy said...

o.k. walk trot,how did you manage to go a whole year without any mention of Missy and mister P's Halloween escapades????

I am d-y-i-n-g to see their pictures!This is so best of 2005 material...I love it!