Thursday, October 13, 2005

For Martha it would be Real Simple

Since I am now residing the sparkly new house in the sparkly new kitchen with all sparkly new appliances, I am suddenly feeling pressure to cook nice meals. I have always been a decent cook; however, I am thinking I’ll have to be a bit more creative now that I seem to have every new and innovative device available to today’s modern wife. Don’t get me wrong, it is my own doing…H really is not a picky guy as far as food. It is just that when we were residing at the Motel 6 and I saw a recipe that looked good but was a bit involved as far as preparation, I could say to myself, “no way would I be able to make that Fassone Beef Tartar with Artichokes and Wood Perfumes in this dinky excuse for a kitchen…Impossible!” Now, if I see a recipe that makes me drool, I have nothing to say. Making the Fassone Beef Tartar with Artichokes and Wood Perfumes could be a process that takes an entire day and I have absolutely no reason not to rip that recipe out of Food and Wine and whip it up MarthaStyle with this new kitchen and all. It is real pressure I tell you!

The other day, I was reading a magazine called Real Simple. A free issue I received had some delicious-looking recipes that were *supposed* to be easy/after work-type meals. I most often like to cook from scratch as the sodium content in prepared/frozen foods is enough to make me bloat so bad my pants don’t fit for weeks. Serious sodium bloatation. Like many working stiffs, however, I do not usually have the time or the energy to dive into something such as Fassone Beef Tartar with Artichokes and Wood Perfumes after a grueling 8+ hour day at the office. The Real Simple recipes were just that. Real Simple while being Real Healthy as well! YEA! I trooped off to the grocery store last week to stock up on all of the recipe essentials. Unfortunately, it was one of those days at the store where, at 5 pm on a Friday evening, every parent in Northwest Indiana decided to pack up all of the kids, take them to the grocery store, and proceed to let them scream at the tops of their lungs. Oh ya, and they also took the older kids off their leashes so they were running thru the aisles in a manner that had me bobbing and weaving for my various food items. Do they just KNOW I am going to be there or something? Am I some sort of attraction device for hyperactive, unsupervised toddlers?? Damn shoppers with kids…maybe the recipes were supposed to be Real Simple but the shopping was Real Crazy.

After making a delicious Salmon With Roasted Onion and Fennel on Tuesday, last evening was the big night to prepare Chicken Souvlaki. I rushed home from work, chopped, diced, marinated, sautéed, and mixed. The lovely aromas of herbed chicken and fresh vegetables wafted about the kitchen. I hummed happily, the very picture of Martha herself. H arrived home and I gushed about the lavish temptations that awaited his palate. I reached into the fridge for the fresh yogurt dill sauce (the crown jewel of the entire dish made with fresh PLAIN yogurt). For some reason, my eye caught the words on the yogurt container from which had come the yogurt for the yogurt dill sauce. “Low Fat VANILLA Yogurt”. Yuck. Chicken Souvlaki with VANILLA yogurt? That would absolutely be grounds for me getting fired on The Apprentice.

H: “Why are you standing in the fridge"
WTC: “No reason, just getting things ready for this sweet meal ahead!”


Amanda Frazier said...

Well? Was it good or not? You can't just leave us hanging like that, woman! And by the way
AMEN on the kids in the isles thing!
I like some kids, but when parents can't keep them under control in a public place...makes me get road rage. Okay, isle rage!

Kiddo78 said...

Ohhh...I wish I could cook. Well, I've never really tried. Even better - I wish I HAD a cook!! Sounds good (except for the brats in the store)!

Christine said...

Your vanilla yogurt reveal has my sides aching from laughter. Sadly, Real Simple magazine's "easy fixes for 8 common kitchen mishaps" didn't include what to do in that circumstance?

Your salmon dish sounds divine!

herb said...


Real Simple!

Love it! I'm a subscriber...

Stacy said...

I just got a free sample of real simple.I loved it may remember I have an obsession with is really expensive...I bet they wouldin't get as many subscribers if real expensive was the name...

My humor is really declining...I guess if I recognize that my humor sucks, in a way it makes it o.k.