Monday, August 15, 2005

Stretch it, Tack it, and run like hell

As you can see from the pictures posted below, ProjectHouseFromHell is coming to its exciting, dramatic conclusion. We are supposed-to close on our loan in a week; however, you can see there is still a bit of work to do. I know all of you would love to pitch in and, honestly, I appreciate the offer. It is H…he can’t stand to have anyone else do anything in the place unless 1) It is a meaningless task such as going around with a garbage bag and collecting wrappings from light fixtures, electrical sockets, and wire, or 2) He gives you something to do and you say, “ah ha!...I can do this!” but much to your disappointment and eroding self-esteem he constantly circles around the assignment correcting and offering a better way to do it. Anal retentive, perfectionist, whatever you want to call it we must realize this, THIS is his life. His reason for living and breathing, his legacy, and what truly defines H as a functioning human being. The poodles and I are mere shadows at this point. We sit, have cocktails and milkbones, and patiently wonder when we will have our H back once again.

This morning I got a phone call from H re the carpet guys:

WTC: Hi you! How is the carpet coming?
H: #%&(*@#&@*_#)@(&(*&
WTC: Wait, don’t talk so fast. What is going on?
H: #&%(*#&$)#*&_#)(&)
WTC: So what did you do?
H: *#%&@^%#&^@%&^#%@*&^#%@&^#%&^%&@^%*&@^%#
WTC: Do you think they’ll be back?
H: @$*&^#*&$^#*&%*#&^%*#&%^*&^#(*&#^$*&^$*#^$*&^!!*^
WTC: Is the owner going to come out to see you?
H:@^%&#*@&#^*@%#*@&#^*@&^#*@&%$&^%@
WTC: Does this mean we won’t have any carpeting upstairs?

There will be life after this house, right?

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